Well don't say goodbye,

don't say hello.
We're just standing on the surface.
Don't say alright, don't say I know.
I promise it's not worth it.
I wanna know who you are,
Even if you're falling apart
Reach in and touch your scars,
And all the shame you've kept in your heart.

It's not enough, it's not enough
Just to say that you're okay
I need your hurt, I need your pain
It's not love any other way

So let's not pretend,
Stop your parade
Trying to convince me
That you're alright,
And everything's okay
Yeah, do you even know me?
'Cause I already know you are,
And all the things that kept us apart
So reach in and touch My scars,
And know the price I paid for your heart

That it's not enough, it's not enough
Just to say that you're okay
I need your hurt, I need your pain
It's not love any other way

A broken and contrite heart
I will not despise
Come as you are
I won't close my eyes
I won't close my eyes
I won't close my eyes
I won't close my eyes....

'Cause it's not enough, it's not enough
Just to say that you're okay
I need your hurt, I need your pain
It's not love any other way.

Respect is a LOST Art.

I think respect is...broken beyond repair. What it actually used to mean and what it means now are two different things. Our parents came from the previous generation. And our grandparents came from before then. They had respect.

To me, respect is taking someone else's opinion, agreed or not, and accepting it.
...respect is talking nicely to someone, even if they don't deserve it.
...respect is opening the door for an elder.
...respect is listening quietly.
...respect is talking only to people's faces and not behind their backs.
...respect is doing what you're told without complaining.
...respect is doing what you're asked, and something additional.
...respect is answering with respect.
...respect is reaching out and taking the time make a difference in someone's day.

Respect has changed the world. When our parents were kids, and their parents were kids, things were different.
As respect changes, and the definition is degraded, it changes the world. The less respect there is, the less of a world we have.

"We don't respect people because they deserve respect. We respect them, because we're respectful people." *

Jesus demonstrated to us how to live:
"You have heard that the law of Moses says, "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For He gives His Sunlight to both the evil and the good, and He sends rain on the just and on the unjust, too. If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect."*
I imagine how different this world would be if we obeyed that continuously....

*Youth pastor's wife.

*Matthew 5:43-48

I wonder...

...how different this world would be..
if every single person knew that they were loved with a love so unconditional,
you can't wrap your mind around it.
If they knew...
that someone died for them.
"Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." *

If every single person knew that and understood it in the way that
God intended,
this world would be a different space....

*John 15:13 NIV

And please DON'T fight these Hands that are holding you....

HAVE YOUR WAY, LORD.

Britt Nicole - Have Your Way

Feels like I've been here forever,

Why can't You just intervene?

Do you see? The tears keep falling...

And I'm falling apart at the seams

But You never said the road would be easy

But You said You would never leave

And You never promised that this life wasn't hard

But You promised You'd take care of me

So I'll stop searching for the answers

I'll stop praying for an esacpe

And I'll trust You, God,  with where I am

And believe that you will have your way

Just have your way

Just have your way

When my friends and my family have left me

And I feel so shaked and so cold.

Remind me You take broken things and turn them into beautiful

So I'll stop searching for the answers

I'll stop praying for an esacpe

And I'll trust You, God,  with where I am

And believe that you will have your way

Just have your way

Just have your way

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

Even if my dreams have died

And even if I don't survive.

I'll still worship You will all my life

My life, yeah.

And I'll stop searching for the answers

I'll stop praying for an escape

And I'll trust you God with where I am

And believe You will have yourw ay

Just have your way.

Just have your way.

I know You will.

I won't forget.

You love me.

Have Your Way.

There is no guarantee that this life will be easy.

But what touches my heart and makes me want to cry in complete reverence and awe of God is how...

He created me. He made me. He loves me. If He hadn't created me, I wouldn't be here.

I am held with an Everlasting Love that will never fade.

I am me. I am a sinner. I screw up every day, in one way or another. I sin all the time.

But He will forgive me every time.

And He will punish me when I need it because He is my Father and I am His child,

But He will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever leave me.

There will never be one milli-second of my life He isn't holding me in His Arms.

I am not worthy....

He chose me. 

Who Says?

I'll admit I wasn't jumping off the walls when I found out that Selena Gomez was coming out with a new single. I feel like I'm growing out of the Disney faze. A lot. Because I'm more into artists who aren't Disney? Right now, Taylor Swift and Jordan Pruitt are my favorite artists. If you don't know me, you wouldn't know that they are the two artists who I have been a fan of the LONGEST and they are the only ones who have remained throughout all my growing up. Pruitt's "Outside Looking In" was my "life song", so-to-speak, during the difficult healing process of my being bullied. I can still quote lyrics from the song and I wish it had gained more popularity.

But Selena Gomez isn't just 'Disney'. She's talented with real opinion, and that's what makes her one of my favorite Disney stars. Because she's real. She hides a lot, I'm sure, just to keep what's personal personal, but also have that connection with her fanbase. I think she handles herself very well. I haven't listened to every song on her album, A Year Without Rain, merely because I'm outgrowing that faze and my music-listening time is devoted to artists who are in the current related to what I'm going through in life. Ghost Of You and  A Year Without Rain are the songs I enjoy listening to and are on my iTunes. I don't know have much money right now, but if I had more, Who Says, would be purchased.

Who says you're not perfect. Who says you're not worth it. Who says you're the only one that's hurting. Trust me, that's the price of beauty. Who says you're not beautiful. Who says? 

It's such a funny thing how nothing's funny when it's you. You tell me what you mean, but they can whiten out the truth. It's like a work of art that never gets to see the light.... I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me. You've got every right to a beautiful life.


Listen to me, who says you don't pass the test? Who says you can't be the best? Will you tell me who said that?


THAT is why I like Selena and that is why I'm still a small Disney fan. Just because it's songs like that can touch your heart. Like Greyson Chance's Waiting Outside The Lines, Danny Gokey's I Will Not Say Goodbye, or Carrie Underwood's Mama's Song. Taylor Swift has her whole array.

The genre doesn't matter. When you find a song that speaks to your heart, it doesn't matter who sings it or what label they're signed to. All that matters is that song is for you. <3

Facing Fire

Taylor Swift uses the analogy of voice like nails on a chalkboard calling me out when I'm wounded to describe being bullied. In her case, it's in the entertainment industry with those who pick apart her and her music. Some of us share Taylor's dream, which came true for her, and is for some of us, too. Others love computers and understand Math and Science. Others love reading and writing. There's the Geek Squad and that girl who isn't quite like everyone else. I like to call her unique, talented, special. God made her, just like everyone else. Including you. No one DESERVES to bullied. Everyone deserves to be treated kindly and fairly. But our world isn't fair and there are a lott of wrongs that don't seem to ever be made right.

But... that isn't true.

Sometimes a wrong is made right, but we don't see it. Or it hasn't happened yet.

It seems like a LOT of people get away with really evil, nasty, wicked things that just hurt others.

And a lot of people do it because of their own insecurities or hatred and jealousy. The possibilities are endless. Some individuals subconsciously bully or hurt someone without intentionally meaning to.

They will profusely apologize and tell you how sorry they are. Others won't care.

You never know what a person has been through or where they're coming from, but that DOESN'T make it right and it makes you so mad on the inside. They got away with that Scot free!!!!!! It's enough to seriously anger a person.

I've been there.

I understand.

When you're facing the fire of a bully, in that moment you feel a lot of intimidation and fear. Bullies are good at stripping you of your self-confidence and make you feel worthless and like a doormat. It's not easy standing up for yourself. They feed off fear and your reaction. A positive reaction is the best you can do. Standing your ground in love is the best you can do. When you're in the moment of dealing with a bully with seconds to reply and their hateful words scorching you deep within, there's a hurt formed there that is not easy to heal, at all. And it feels like you never really win, they always do. No one cares and no one's watching and they're just gonna keep getting away with it. Right?

Wrong.

GOD sees and hears everything, every word that comes out your mouth, everything.

It's impossible to hide from God.

Remember that time five years ago when those girls were being mean to you before class started and you called them a bad word? It was fitting for how they were acting, but it wasn't the RIGHT response. Then were you sent to the office and got detention, but they got away Scot free and there was nothing you could do about it... yes, you deserved discipline for breaking a rule, but they did too. They're the ones who provoked you to anger and caused you to say that. But you chose yourself to say it and you take responsibility for your actions and you accepted your punishment and lived through that hour of detention.

Yes, I'm talking about myself in middle school. That's exactly what happened to me. It happened a second time, too. That time I got ISS and once again, they got away Scot free.  

I'm still not happy with what happened and it does feel like got away Scot free with it, but that's not the case.

If you don't know, I'm a devout Christian. And I'm comforted by this verse:

The time is coming when everything will be revealed; all that is secret will be made public. Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear! - Luke 12: 2-3 NLT

God saw and heard every word that was spoken by me and my bullies. He saw exactly what happened and regardless of what happened, He has my back and will take care of me no matter what. Those times when we're hurt to the verge of tears or like a fresh wound has just been cut open, He sees. We are His children and in those times, we don't need to retaliate. 

Dear friends, never avenge yourself. Leave that to God. For it is written, "I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it," says the Lord. -  Romans 12:19 NLT

God will avenge me.

Enough said to put a smile on my face. How about you? :)

Thank you for taking the time to read this and thanks to Anthony for helping me with the Scripture verses!